Kurt cobain wasn't as narcissistic as people think.
I think I will join him one day.
 
 
I never thought I would see the day I was in high school.  Never, ever, ever, ever.  I never thought I would see the day I was fifteen, fourteen, or even thirteen.  
Looking back, it's so weird.  

I am so guilty.  SO SO guilty; everything is completely my fault.  I let them down; all of them.
 
Sometimes, I think about how I can make it less messy.
But I can't.  It gets gruesome.  A gunshot would be pretty difficult, because guns are difficult for a high school girl with sidebangs to get.
Overdosing only has 1/3 chance of killing you.
Hanging would give other people ptsd.
Bleeding to death might work, but it didn't work the last time.
Neither did hanging, hanging doesn't work; I could still breathe, it was useless.  Maybe I just need to use something stronger??